When I first started working as a therapist, I expected to hear about people’s proudest moments, their deepest shame, promises that had been broken, dreams and relationships that had turned sour or died an agonizing death. I was (semi-)prepared to hear about profound pain and loss. What I didn’t expect was to talk so much about SEX.
NOT Just the Birds and the Bees
My clients have educated me as much as I have them. Over the past 20 years, I’ve helped couples create ethically open relationships, learned about the searing pain caused by sex addiction, and been schooled about the difference between consenting BD/SM behavior and fetishistic activity. I’ve aided clients in discovering their long-buried sexual identities, and helped clients rediscover their sexual energy after years of it laying dormant. Clients share fantasies, desires, and fears that either fuel them or create great fear. I have developed an appreciation and respect for the range of human sexual feelings, behaviors, and energies. Many believe the human sex drive is a manifestation of the life force; I’ve certainly witnessed the courage and power within many clients as they have striven to develop their sexual selves in healthy and dynamic ways. As happens so often, I am humbled and privileged to be a witness to the strength and creativity my clients demonstrate. I can only hope I provide them with a safe and respectful space for them to discover their best and fullest sexual selves.